Not sure what the hell is up with me atm. Got realllllly poorly on Friday, like could hardly type or think, just sat there dizzy and weird. Can’t explain it really, a very unique feeling. Started freaking out that I’d maybe overdosed on caffeine, it was very worrisome. What an embarrassing way to die that would be. Went home early and slept for like 12 hours, which would’ve been brilliant except I had a Saturday assessment poster conference thingy at uni, which I had done literally zero prep for arggggggggg. So I quickly wrote my 500 word essay brief when I woke up, then created my stupid poster in the hour before the session and over the lunchbreak. Always always last-minute, always the way. Sad that I’m back into bad habits like that. I did a pretty good job though yknow? That’s my problem, I leave things to the last minute but they’re always quite good, so I never feel shamed enough into doing things in advance, even though if I did things in advance they would be EXCELLENT instead of quite good.
I think my essay is going to be alright, though I don’t understand what latent masochism has made me decide to use Butlerian and Foucauldian theories; I don’t make life easy for myself do I?? I feel like I can only understand Butler indirectly, when referenced by other things, which is, IRONICALLY, VERY POST-STRUCTURALIST lolololol
We had to talk about our essays in groups with phd students, and mine turned out to be really attractive :/ It was so embarrassing talking about SEXUALITY and DOMINATION with A Fit Man, but I don’t think I blushed too hard. I am sad he will not be marking my essay, fnar.
Oh! And, the boy on my course that I most hated has left, HAHA. I think that is a victory for feminism.
Anyway, yeah. Things are weird. December always makes me sad. Birthday and the end of the calendar year is a difficult combination and, dunno, a lot of things last week were making me feel so hopeless. But I feel a bit better today. Probably because I’ve actually remembered to take my medication the last couple days, rather than for any deep and meaningful reason.