Things I had forgotten about Having A Job:

  1. Commuting makes me loathe humanity in a unique and chilling way
  2. Knowing how to successfully stifle a yawn is crucial to being a good employee
  3. I have no clothes! I have no idea what to wear every single day. At home, if an outfit worked I just repeated it the next day cos who would notice?
  4. Speaking of which, women wear some bad clothes to work. Them black polyester trousers with a slight boot-cut haunt me, urgh
  5. Post-its exist, oh yeah!!
  6. Bananas are so handy. I didn’t eat a banana the whole time I was unemployed, but damn, they’re so portable and filling, which brings me to…
  7. …I am SO hungry ALL THE TIME. I used to get up at lunchtime and graze through the day out of boredom, now I’m eating from 7am cos I HAVE to, I’m actually doing stuff that requires a bit of energy. Not helpful considering I’m currently the fattest I’ve ever been, sigh, but let’s not make this one of *those* blogs
  8. I write to-do lists every day and cross them off then highlight the ones I still haven’t done. Totally forgot that habit.
  9. Sharing a toilet with hundreds (thousands?) of people is so awful. All this time I’ve been happily using my own personal toilet like a goddamn queen. I cannot BELIEVE how many women take huge dumps at work, the toilets smell constantly of shit, try and save it for home can’t you? gross
  10. Also, who goes in the middle toilet when there is a choice of three? You’re basically asking for someone to come use the one right next to you, stupid twat
  11. Rapesco? Seriously? What is wrong with you that you absolutely had to name your office supplies company that? I don’t care how it’s pronounced.